My roommate from last year went on a semester-long study abroad program in Europe. I sent her off yesterday morning and won’t see her until December. It’s a hard hit to take, but I’m happy for her.
Introverts aren’t antisocial, we are just…socially selective, for lack of a better phrase. We, or at least I, have a few very close friends, and not many others outside that circle. I love close relationships and burn out with small talk, so this situation works for me.
That said, my roommate from last year was my best friend in my college life, and now she’s gone for a whole semester. I knew that when she signed up last year, but it still isn’t any easier. She’s an introvert too, but her girlfriend is going as well as a few other friends of hers. Even still, the question remains…how do introverts make friends?
The short answer: I don’t know. Really, I don’t. I try to think back on how I got so close with my best friends from home, and with my boyfriend, and their origin stories are as foggy as trying to remember my birth. It’s as if they were there forever, and even though I can pinpoint the grade in which we became friends I can’t pinpoint the occasion.
I suppose it’s like how anyone makes friends. Talking to people…you see where the problem lies. One cannot overstep small talk, it’s the first step in being friends. You can either suck it up and do it, or be alone in your room forever–which, I know, doesn’t sound too bad, until you actually have to do that.
I wish there were a place where you could go and have deep conversations with people right off the bat, and then just start hanging out, getting ice cream, watching films. Like a dating site for introverts looking for friends. Or a coffee shop where instead of keeping to yourself you were encouraged to discuss the meaning of the art they hung up along the walls.
This post is kind of disjointed, but its disjointedness represents my feelings on the subject of how an introvert makes friends. There’s just no easy solution.
Either way, my roommate is probably just arriving, unpacking, breathing in the air and kissing her girlfriend under the Eiffel Tower. I hope she doesn’t spend too much of the semester alone in her room–although, I suppose she’s probably hoping the same thing for me.