Well, I lost my semester-long subway pass. I’m sick, possibly with the flu, possibly just allergies come on from a crazy New England not-winter. I’m beginning to feel rather lonely over spring break, and my mind’s doing the thing where I see all the negative things in a pattern and none of the positives.
I do this too much. It’s natural to feel sorry for yourself sometimes, especially on a bad day, but I know I do that far too much. I’m not constantly throwing pity parties, and I try to keep my thoughts to myself most of the time, but I’d be lying if “Why me?” doesn’t cross my mind now and then.
I mean, it’s a valid question to ask, and it’s one people have been asking for millennia. The classic question to ask if you were to meet a god figure always seems to be “Why do bad things happen to good people?”
I’d rephrase it as, “Why doesn’t karma exist perfectly?”
I wish karma worked out the way it was supposed to. Do a good thing, good things happen to you. It does to some extent, especially when referring to being nice to people, giving back, etc. But why do bad things happen when we don’t do anything bad to deserve it?
I think it’s 2 reasons. One, maybe you did deserve it and not realize it. It’s not always easy to see faults in yourself. Two, maybe it’s because karma doesn’t exist and the universe doesn’t owe you anything.
After all, I shouldn’t give to charity to feel good about how charitable I am, I should give to charity because it’s the right thing to do. And I shouldn’t go through life expecting the universe to hand me things good things easily just because I’m a “good” person.
I’m not gonna lie, I like a challenge. Life is boring without challenges. I guess it’s just that sometimes the–for lack of a better word–punishments don’t always seem fair, or warranted.
Maybe it’s a sign that the universe is meaningless and ungoverned and etc., etc., deeper talks than I want to get into at midnight when I’m writing this. Who knows?
I do wish karma existed, but then again, I shouldn’t only want to do good things if something good happens to me afterward. And I shouldn’t only refrain from doing bad things just because I’d get punished for doing so, so maybe it’s good for our souls that karma isn’t a perfect system. I’m writing myself into circles now, and should probably get some sleep:)
To wrap up: Does karma exist? I don’t know. I hope so. If it doesn’t, I’d like it to come into existence, please. If anyone knows how to invent a karmic power to govern the universe, please let us know! We can start a kickstarter campaign or something.