Is everything just a countdown? I have several going on right now–a countdown to my birthday, a countdown to my boyfriend coming home from Mexico, a countdown to school being out, a countdown to my internship being over, and a countdown to my Europe trip.
On a larger scale, even me waiting to graduate is a countdown.
It’s hard to take a step back and enjoy where I am when the future seems so much better. Also, I have always liked finishing things. It feels good to finish things and be done with them, even things I like. Maybe that’s because all of my activities as a kid culminated in recitals–you work hard all year for an exciting finale, and then there’s no more hard work for awhile.
That’s also how movies work, huh? And books, and etc. Characters work hard, then a big exciting finale, then it’s over.
When I was a kid I kind of thought that was what childhood was…working hard in school so adulthood was a prolonged graduation party. And that’s what some people believe about heaven–we suffer in this world to be happy in the next.
I know I should try to enjoy where I am more, but what can I say? The grass is actually greener in the future, and not just because spring is coming. Things will get progressively better as time goes on…things just suck right now.
Maybe that’s a good thing, though. Maybe my dream of being rewarded for hard work will come true. If I can just get through a few more weeks, I will get rewarded. Every few weeks or months, a good thing will definitely happen. I just have to deal with the day-to-day until it does.
Maybe that’s life.