Notebooks never forgotten

Does anyone else fall in love with their notebooks? I’ve never thrown one away. I flip through them when I reach the final page and reminisce about the doodles in the margins, the swooping titles shaded and shadowed during boring lectures and five minute breaks. I love the feel of well-worn pages, I love the smell of quick-run ink.

I can’t throw it away! Not after hours spend sliding the side of my hand over the blue lines, not after flipping each page one by one—except the one that stuck and got skipped. I couldn’t possibly send this to the curb after it supported me during late nights studying, during impossible essays.

Dark, denting consonants when I was angry. Soft pencil scratches when the teacher turned on the overhead light. Slanted print when I took notes during a film. Perfect cursive at the beginning of class, slowly morphing into illegible loops and bumps, like my pen had monitored an irregular heartbeat.

All the knowledge I had soaked up and forgotten lay fresh on the page, preserved from light and water by thin shiny covers. Coffee stained corners, nail polish smeared on the edge.

The black ink haloes finished classes with rosy nostalgia in the wistful summer. The thing I snatched off my desk in a rush, threw across the room in frustration, attacked with red pens, bought for fifty cents at Walgreens—this is what I swoon over? This is what makes me sigh and shove in a drawer instead of a recycle bin?

Emotions are strange…but perhaps for a writer, who swears every word is her heart bleeding on the page, it makes sense for a notebook to feel like a part of her that can’t carelessly be forgotten.

13 thoughts on “Notebooks never forgotten

  1. I’ve still got my travel journals from 1969. A few more years and they’ll be museum pieces 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. How nostalgic! I can well relate 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. G. R. McNeese

    I wish I didn’t throw away my older notebooks. More so for the nostalgia. I remember one notebook where I pinned a flyer about Jesus coming on it and I wrote an entire entry on it. Probably would make a good story if I kept it.

    I regret not keeping my notebooks. Nowadays, I have a journaling app on my phone when I’m not near my notebook. But I am trying to get back into the practice of writing in my notebook. I feel there’s a disconnect with writing anything on a phone or laptop. Writing with pen and paper feels more natural, more in tune with yourself and your thoughts.

    (I should write a post about this.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes! I usually fall in love with my journals and hoard them but end up throwing them away when I start to re-read what I’ve written in the past. It seems I have moments of insanity when I write down some really paranoid stuff and when I’m back to feeling like myself I cringe at my words.

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  5. It’s hard to throw something away when you spent so much time and energy to fill it up. Seems like such a waste, doesn’t it?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I have written in notebooks since I was about 6 years old, and have kept them all (it’s quite amusing to see what went on in the mind of a 6 year old me). Games, stories, ideas, costumes, writing ideas; no two notebooks are the same.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Read.Dream.Live

    I seem to collect notebooks but hardly ever use them. I just get attracted to the pretty covers.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I don’t keep my own old notebooks, but I have an old diary from my late aunt and I find it super interesting to read about her life and her history.
    Myself, I once re-read my old diary, from the time when I was bullied extremely and was depressed. It felt like reading someone else’s story, so strange. I ripped out the pages and burned them. Some things are better left in the past 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Sentementality coupled with nostalgia are writers and artist can never be without their attachment from their old works. I alone keep going back to my notes, either digital backups or 15 year old sketches.

    Liked by 1 person


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