Introvert Boutique

Someone needs to invent a boutique for introverts.

I hate making small talk while someone’s cutting my hair. I hate piping up to ask for a change. Do you look at yourself in the mirror? Is it okay to take your arms out from under the cape thing they put you in?

And that’s just a haircut. My mother loves taking me out to get my nails done, but I outright refuse. Someone not a foot from your face, and you’re not allowed to move your hands? I feel so disgusting, making someone care to my hands while I look over their shoulder at the television, but I have no idea what to say to them so I just fall silent.

Massages are the worst—and I’ve never gone for one. I just can’t. Such an intimate thing, and what are you expected to say? Is it awkward to say that something feels good? Are you supposed to make noises, little moans and things, or stay silent? Massages have so many difficult social cues to pay attention to, and that’s not fun, that’s not relaxing. I would love to have one, but I’m too scared!

I vote on creating spas for introverts. An introvert boutique, an introvert salon.

The rooms in this imaginary spa are filled with soft music so it’s not an awkward silence. The lights are soft, the walls are peach. The chairs are comfortable. After a brief consultation to understand what you want in your haircut, manicure, massage, etc., the person who works there assures you that they expect silence, and they don’t mind it or find it awkward. They say that it is to foster a peaceful atmosphere. They say that they will not judge you if you do not smile or speak, and will take you for your word if you say you like it even if you may not seem to in the moment.

However, they say, please do interrupt the silence to notify them of any pain you are feeling or to correct them on anything they are doing wrong.

In the massage/facial area, they give you a nice little mask so you don’t have to worry about seeing them or them looking at you. They assure you that they do not mind if you make noises, or if you don’t. They say they will only say something if it sounds like you are in pain. In the manicure/haircut area, they have a television as well as the masks, so you can choose to either relax while they do their work or keep a keen eye out to correct them (especially with the haircut). They assure you that they will not be insulted either way.

At the end, they ask if you are satisfied. If you are not, feel free to say so. They will not be offended, and will do all they can to help you.

To pay, you may use any form of payment you wish. You do not have to approach the specific employee to tip them—in fact, tips are not allowed. The boutique pays them a flat rate plus commission, so you don’t have to worry about them not getting paid. You are welcome to write a short note of thanks if you wish, but there is no pressure.

After you are done, you are free to spend as long as you like in the meditation room in the back. It is silent here, too, save for a bit of peaceful music. It is warm, made of rich golden wood and peppered with canvas cushions. Once you feel relaxed and ready to face the day, you may leave without a goodbye and go about your day.

Doesn’t that sound like an idea spa day? Nothing sounds more relaxing than knowing exactly what is expected of you, and having that expectation be, “enjoy yourself in peaceful silence.” I can just imagine the zen-like set up, with plants in all the windows and a little rock fountain in the back.

I know part of being an introvert is learning how to face the world anyway. But I think that a business so focused on comfort and relaxation would do good to cater to the introverted crowd.

Dang. Now I really want to go.

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14 thoughts on “Introvert Boutique

  1. How about an AMSR boutique?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Manicures are awkward, I agree. But I love pedicures and massages. I don’t talk and don’t feel guilty. I fall asleep getting my massages and usually take a friend to pedicures so we talk to each other, or I read if I’m alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I would totally go to Spa. I get pedicures so I solve the chatting problem by giving a bright smile and then opening a book. I also tip well and go back if they do a good job so maybe they all hate me at the place I go but they do a good job because word has gotten around I tip well. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  4. (I meant feel uncomfortable in order to make them feel comfortable :p)

    Like

  5. I’d go there! Sounds like my kind of place.
    I always get into awkward weather-talks with my hair dresser as she tries to make small talk but what do you talk about? O_o I just want to sit there and watch her work her magic, is that so bad? Instead I have to be uncomfortable in order not to make them uncomfortable. This is a crazy world, I tell you D:

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Listen, honey, I can’t give you any advice about a spa, because I’ve never been to one, and in fact wouldn’t be caught dead in one. But I can tell you a little something about getting your hair cut, because I suffer from the same affliction of not wanting anyone to be yapping at me while I’m being held hostage in the haircut chair.

    See, I’m practically deaf without my hearing aids, so all I have to do is tell the hair chopper, “Look, I wear hearing aids, and I’m going to take them out so they won’t get in your way, but that means I won’t hear a thing you say.” Now admittedly, that opens the encounter by having to make a little speech, but that’s better than the alternative of making small talk throughout the ordeal.

    In my case, wearing hearing aids happens to be true, but even though you probably don’t, you could still use it as a ruse, and no one would be the wiser. I certainly don’t know this to be the case, but perhaps your hair covers your ears. Just reach up and pretend like you’re removing something from each ear, then pretend to hold your hearing aids in your hand, which you’ll keep conveniently tucked beneath the deflector shield.

    If the cutter screws up and asks you something, just pretend not to hear, and they probably won’t make that mistake again. The downside might be that because you failed to answer a question, you could end up with a mohawk, or worse, the Sinead look, but at least you’ll take comfort in knowing that when you leave, your introversion will be intact.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Can I please go there? I hate having my hair cut in a salon, luckily my best friends mum does it in my house which is great…before I knew her I suffered every time my hair got too long haha

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sounds like a great place. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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