You know what’s like, incredibly ironic?
I think I heal from overwork by…doing work.
Is that absolutely insane?
The only thing that seems to cure my stress is getting rid of my stressors. Maybe this is healthy, maybe not. I should really go back to therapy.
I’ve realized I get more stressed when I don’t do things than when I do. So I’ve been keeping busy, but not biting off more than I can chew. Doing tasks I can finish after starting.
Avoiding my unfinished novel…gah, see? Even this isn’t without guilt, without stress. I’m always not doing something.
I think it’s from growing up in such a stressful environment, pertaining to grades and expectations. Maybe it’s just because I have high expectations for myself. I don’t know. Maybe I’m a realist in an optimist world. Maybe I’m a real downer most of the time.