today i tried reiki
and a woman with warm hands
washed energy from my head to my feet
with arms moving in figure eights.
i lay on the table like a woman about to be cut in half
and she ran up my spine in vertical lines
no one ever cured someone by pushing air around
but she seems so serious i can’t help but respect her.
i close my eyes and feel still
i can hear dogs–or are they coyotes?
i want to be the breath behind their teeth
i want to be the stone she holds between her palms.
she tells me to sleep with amethyst under my pillow
i tell her thank you
she knew my knees were bothering me
they hurt when they are straight.
i wanted her to tell me what was wrong with my mind
but i guess my knees are a start
and amethyst can’t hurt, anyway
what else can you do when you’re this desperate?