Introvert Look Book: Gender Neutral Fashion Top Five

Gender neutral folks and other androgynous-dressing introverts, this is your day! It’s time to find that fashion balance an introvert strives for–stylish, without being too eye-catching. Without further ado, here are my gender-neutral top five.

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5. Horizontal stripes

Simple stripes go well with just about everything, and looks good on just about everybody. Thin stripes like these look great in black (or any other color) and add just a touch of personality to your classic jeans-and-tee combo. This is a high-quality option for just $20.

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4. Patch-covered flight jacket

Casual, classic, and unique, the patch-covered jacket shows off your individuality. Buy plain or half-decorated, then buy patches (from a craft store or Amazon) to add on. I have UFOs, Zelda’s triforce, and an LGBT rainbow on mine, among others.

Not into sewing? This is a great place to start.

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3. Rose-colored glasses (literally)

Pink is making a comeback. Both showing feminine strength and masculine power, they’re a great addition to your gender-neutral fashion rotation. Plus, protecting vision is always a hot look. Here’s a good choice.

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2. Dark floral button-down

Like the rose-colored glasses, this shirt encapsulates all that gender-neutral has to offer. The dark colors keep it grounded, while the floral pattern adds just the right amount of flair. Try this on for size! 

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  1. Detailed chest pockets.

While the bow ties in this photo might be a little too much for us introverts, I think the pocket detail is fantastic. What a neat way to add a pop of individuality to the button downs that likely litter your closet! If you sewed on those patches from number 4, this is a great next project for you. I found this photo from an article about a store that specifically sells gender-neutral clothing. They’re worth giving a look.

 

Best of luck, fashionista introverts!

Introvert Look Book: Men’s Fashion Top Five

Introvert men, you’re in a tough spot when it comes to fashion. Fashion for men seems to either be blah, boring suits or off-the-wall ridiculous.

I’m here to tell you there’s a happy medium between too invisible and too eye-catching: style.

If you would like to have a bit of style without feeling too anxious in those runway colors, look no further: here are my top five looks for introvert men.

Ladies, we’ve already done this for you. 

Non-binary/androgynous/enby friends, you’re next.

 

5. Proper Grooming/Facial Hair

This may seem obvious to many of you, but the facts are that women are typically more highly-trained in self-care. Many men don’t care about what their hair is doing, or if their beard is scruffy, or if they have a zit or two. It’s great to have confidence, but trust me: ten minutes of proper grooming in the morning can make both your confidence and attractiveness grow.

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I’m not saying you have to invest in mascara or anything, but a well-kempt beard goes miles. Simply styling your hair with a dab of gel or mousse will make you look great without standing out. Fair warning: this might feel strange at first, but after the first time you’ll feel great because you know you look great.

By the way, nothing’s wrong with male makeup. Coverup for zits is totally kosher–and while it may not be ubiquitous yet, male makeup is a growing trend. Check out this transformation–you can hardly tell he’s wearing makeup, yet he looks amazing, confident, and ready to face the day.Screen Shot 2019-12-06 at 12.30.33 PM.png

 

4. Dark Green Jacket

Many introverts prefer darker colors, and I am no exception. A dark green jacket gives a pop of color without stepping too far out of an introvert’s comfort zone.

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Comfortable and adjustable to any situation, this looks great against the introvert palate of blacks and browns without clashing. Here are a plethora of options to choose from.

Not a fan of green? Try burgundy or navy blue instead.

 

3. Hooded Flannel

Not only is a flannel an introvert must, with an added hood you’ll be able to adjust to any situation, no stress needed. It’s easy to wrap up and read, watch a movie, or chill by the fire. The hood allows comfort without needing to completely fade into the wall. I love the red and black, but flannel colors are nearly endless.

Try this on for size.

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2. Tan Hiking Bag

It’s hard finding a bag that is both masculine and efficient, but I think this has both covered. The hiker look brings style and substance to this outfit essential, and the classic tan color goes with almost anything. Best of all, it’s big enough to keep all you need easy at hand without bogging you down. Whether you’re toting your laptop across campus or your convention necessaries to a music festival, this bag has you covered.

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  1. Simple Black Watch

It may seem like a small detail, but when it comes to style, the devil is in the details. It’s the little touches that can elevate your look from ignoreable to just the right amount of stylish. This is a higher end choice, but there are plenty of cheaper options that are easier on your wallet while looking just as sleek. I like the black, because it goes with everything and looks great without catching the eye.

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There you have it, gentlemen! Hopefully these tips can help you male-identifying introverts find their niche in the world of style.

Introvert Fashion Look Book: Ladies Top Five

How do I look good when my anxiety keeps me from wearing anything too wild? This Look Book should help you get on track.

We’ll start with the ladies. Men, we’ll get to you in the next post, and afterward, gender neutral/androgynous style for those enby introverts.

 

5.  LBC (Little Black Cardigan)

Girls, this looks good with almost everything.

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It’s perfect to adjust to your changing moods. Feeling a little confident? Roll up those sleeves and get to business. Feel that introversion coming on? Wrap yourself up and read  a book in cozy comfort. Enraptured in a rare burst of energy? Tie it around your waist and transform instantly from cute librarian to 90’s rocker chic.

To be honest, I could fill the ladies’ fashion guide with cardigans. They’re so perfect. They give you just enough style to feel cute without standing out of the crowd. If black isn’t your thing, try a brown or crocheted cream.

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4. Plaid flannel

Is anything more classic than a plaid flannel? I love how they give you a pop of muted color without ever being too bright. I’m a fan of this one with its rich red and slight fit. It keeps close enough to give you shape without feeling like you’re “showing off.”

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Just like the cardigan, the plaid flannel has options. Unbutton it over a tank top for a more relaxed look, or tie it around your waist in case you’re nervous that movie theatre might be cold in late summer. Wrapping up in one of these always makes me feel at home. It’s like a security blanket, in the shape of a lumberjack essential.

 

3. Natural Makeup

I avoided makeup for quite awhile. Bright red lips and blue eyelids made me feel pretty, but seemed to attract attention–exactly what I didn’t want it to do. Makeup can be a huge confidence booster, but doesn’t need to be eye-catching. Instead of passing on it or going all out despite your anxiety, give natural makeup a try.

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This article has some tips and products to get you started.

 

2. Infinity scarf

No matter what time of year, fashionistas of the world have made scarves a staple. Introverts may feel strange keeping this winter wear on indoors, but the right scarf can look great both on the ski slopes and in the office. Try an infinity scarf in darker colors–it’s cozy, not too eye-catching, and goes great with the black cardigan or flannel (so long as the colors don’t clash!).

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This is a great place to start.

  1. Low-heeled boots

This is my number one because it looks good with just about anything. Low-heeled boots are professional and date-ready, badass and adorable. They match with a short summer skirt just as well as thick winter jeans. You never have to worry about how your shoes match or don’t match or will hurt by the end of the night–these boots are always a stylish, comfortable pick.

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These cute boots will have you comfortably stylish in any situation.

 

These are my top five favorite introvert fashion tips for the woman who wants to look great without standing out, but the world of comfortable fashion is endless–share your favorite looks below!

catch me if i fall

i feel as if i am a woman of polar opposites. i am fiercely strong, yet unendingly weak. i am a woman at peace,a woman at war. i am a person of introversion, a person of strength an inner depth…but i am so dependent.

i need others. i need someone to catch me when i fall. i depend so heavily on family and friends. i can’t feel alone. i go crazy if i feel alone.

obviously, i enjoy solitude. i like being physically alone. i mean mentally. i need to know i have a safety net, a web of friends. i need people who support me by kicking me with their heels to get me into a run. i need people who comfort me and life my hands in theirs and patter me with kisses and hold me like a cracked ornament.

i need people, i do. truly. does that make me a bad introvert? 🙂

i couldn’t survive alone. i dump my problems on those around me. without my friends, without this blog, without you, my problems would not get dumped, and they would sit in my head like a steaming pile of garbage, stinking and rotting and driving me out with their stench.

i am selfish.

i try to support. i try to hold others up, but my arms aren’t as strong as i want them to be, as they need them to be. i feel useless to others.

My joints are stiff with baseless anxiety.

July

When I’m writing this, it is just past midnight on July 1.

Holy shit. July.

When I was seven, I wrote a poem–my first, ever–and titled it July. When I was twelve, I set my first novel entirely in July. And now, in 2018, I head into my busiest July ever. Busier than all those Camp Nanos I can’t even entertain the possibility of this year. Busier than any job or camp or anything.

I start July with a day of packing and frantic emails, then a week in Ireland, then three weeks straight of teaching summer school English, then Newport Folk Festival.

Then finally, in August, I get a breath.

I’ve been trying to attune myself to reiki, to feel the chi universe energy in my fingers, to make myself relax, but my jaw clenches up anyway and my stomach knots itself up and my forehead is perpetually cinched. My mouth is ablaze with canker sores, my face a minefield of acne. My body handles stress nearly as bad as my mind does.

I feel silly. All I’ve wanted for months and months and months was a job, and now that I have one I feel stage fright. That’s my best way of putting it. I’m scared.

July was always such a magical time as a kid, a month I spent all year dreaming about and writing about and waiting for with all my simple heart. Now…

stagnant

I’ve said a thousand times that I only get back into blogging when my mental health begins to falter…well, my mental health seems rather delicate, if this is to be true.

Right now, however, I’m feeling rather stagnant. Treading water.

It was a full moon last night–not the night before this is published, but the night before I wrote this. I’m writing this on June 27. There was a more eloquent way to combine those two thoughts but I’m too burnt out to play with words at the moment.

I like full moons. I like how bright everything seems. How still everything feels. It is like you can hear everything from your heart to the mountains.

I can pack my entire life into a suitcase and a half. I know, I’ve tried. Everything I need, every sentimental token, all into a suitcase and a half.

I’m sorry. I know I’ve been writing poorly, and I know I’ve been being negative. I just feel bad burdening my loved ones with my nonsense. It’s easier to pile it up here, where at least if you’re reading it you’re reading it voluntarily.

i have overwhelmed myself again

and so i prep for a job i am under qualified for, using not enough time to do something too far out of reach.

i edit the novel months away from completion, i read the book a hundred pages from the end, i lounge to the sound of birds and coyotes, dozing to dreams of unfinished stories half watched or half imagined.

i listen to music halfheartedly, the hour-long compilations set to a mood, the pleading piano and weeping violin, my face wet and swollen, my hands clammy and too big for their weak wrists.

i am out of my wits.

i feel again as if i am walking down the plank, hot summer air whipping my clothes with the force of icy sea mist. i am voluntary. i am sacrifice. i am martyr for the cause of myself.

the greater good.

i leave things lowercase here. i leave my ring finger blank. it’s easier to think in grammerless terms when my mind, too, is riddled with run-on sentences. nothing in my head is in capital letters except my own voice.

i build a fortress out of phone books. i cry ink onto pages made of skin. i sit alone in a room painted green and feel locked in. i smell chlorine. it reminds me not of summer pools but of formaldehyde.