Introvert Look Book: Gender Neutral Fashion Top Five

Gender neutral folks and other androgynous-dressing introverts, this is your day! It’s time to find that fashion balance an introvert strives for–stylish, without being too eye-catching. Without further ado, here are my gender-neutral top five.

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5. Horizontal stripes

Simple stripes go well with just about everything, and looks good on just about everybody. Thin stripes like these look great in black (or any other color) and add just a touch of personality to your classic jeans-and-tee combo. This is a high-quality option for just $20.

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4. Patch-covered flight jacket

Casual, classic, and unique, the patch-covered jacket shows off your individuality. Buy plain or half-decorated, then buy patches (from a craft store or Amazon) to add on. I have UFOs, Zelda’s triforce, and an LGBT rainbow on mine, among others.

Not into sewing? This is a great place to start.

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3. Rose-colored glasses (literally)

Pink is making a comeback. Both showing feminine strength and masculine power, they’re a great addition to your gender-neutral fashion rotation. Plus, protecting vision is always a hot look. Here’s a good choice.

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2. Dark floral button-down

Like the rose-colored glasses, this shirt encapsulates all that gender-neutral has to offer. The dark colors keep it grounded, while the floral pattern adds just the right amount of flair. Try this on for size! 

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  1. Detailed chest pockets.

While the bow ties in this photo might be a little too much for us introverts, I think the pocket detail is fantastic. What a neat way to add a pop of individuality to the button downs that likely litter your closet! If you sewed on those patches from number 4, this is a great next project for you. I found this photo from an article about a store that specifically sells gender-neutral clothing. They’re worth giving a look.

 

Best of luck, fashionista introverts!

Introvert Look Book: Men’s Fashion Top Five

Introvert men, you’re in a tough spot when it comes to fashion. Fashion for men seems to either be blah, boring suits or off-the-wall ridiculous.

I’m here to tell you there’s a happy medium between too invisible and too eye-catching: style.

If you would like to have a bit of style without feeling too anxious in those runway colors, look no further: here are my top five looks for introvert men.

Ladies, we’ve already done this for you. 

Non-binary/androgynous/enby friends, you’re next.

 

5. Proper Grooming/Facial Hair

This may seem obvious to many of you, but the facts are that women are typically more highly-trained in self-care. Many men don’t care about what their hair is doing, or if their beard is scruffy, or if they have a zit or two. It’s great to have confidence, but trust me: ten minutes of proper grooming in the morning can make both your confidence and attractiveness grow.

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I’m not saying you have to invest in mascara or anything, but a well-kempt beard goes miles. Simply styling your hair with a dab of gel or mousse will make you look great without standing out. Fair warning: this might feel strange at first, but after the first time you’ll feel great because you know you look great.

By the way, nothing’s wrong with male makeup. Coverup for zits is totally kosher–and while it may not be ubiquitous yet, male makeup is a growing trend. Check out this transformation–you can hardly tell he’s wearing makeup, yet he looks amazing, confident, and ready to face the day.Screen Shot 2019-12-06 at 12.30.33 PM.png

 

4. Dark Green Jacket

Many introverts prefer darker colors, and I am no exception. A dark green jacket gives a pop of color without stepping too far out of an introvert’s comfort zone.

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Comfortable and adjustable to any situation, this looks great against the introvert palate of blacks and browns without clashing. Here are a plethora of options to choose from.

Not a fan of green? Try burgundy or navy blue instead.

 

3. Hooded Flannel

Not only is a flannel an introvert must, with an added hood you’ll be able to adjust to any situation, no stress needed. It’s easy to wrap up and read, watch a movie, or chill by the fire. The hood allows comfort without needing to completely fade into the wall. I love the red and black, but flannel colors are nearly endless.

Try this on for size.

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2. Tan Hiking Bag

It’s hard finding a bag that is both masculine and efficient, but I think this has both covered. The hiker look brings style and substance to this outfit essential, and the classic tan color goes with almost anything. Best of all, it’s big enough to keep all you need easy at hand without bogging you down. Whether you’re toting your laptop across campus or your convention necessaries to a music festival, this bag has you covered.

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  1. Simple Black Watch

It may seem like a small detail, but when it comes to style, the devil is in the details. It’s the little touches that can elevate your look from ignoreable to just the right amount of stylish. This is a higher end choice, but there are plenty of cheaper options that are easier on your wallet while looking just as sleek. I like the black, because it goes with everything and looks great without catching the eye.

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There you have it, gentlemen! Hopefully these tips can help you male-identifying introverts find their niche in the world of style.

Top 5 fashion tips for the female introvert

Hello, beautiful ladies! I’m a strong proponent of the idea that just because someone is introverted doesn’t mean they don’t like people. It just means that they enjoy and require some time alone, and being surrounded by people for too long can be tiring.

Our personal style tells the world what kind of person we are. For an introvert who wants to feel good about how she looks but also might want to fade into the background to recharge after awhile, the best outfit is one that is stylish, but not too loud or bright. Something flexible, that allows you to both stand out and hide away when you want to.

These are my top five fashion choices for the female introvert! And don’t worry, boys, I have a post for male fashion choices too—click here!

For anyone who doesn’t identify as either gender, don’t fret! The tips are pretty gender neutral. Read both and apply them as you see fit, picking some from each and creating a fashion collage just for you:).

5. Anything that gives you confidence

This may be rather vague, but it’s one of the best tips I can give. While you want your clothing to look nice, you do not want to have to think about it all night. Your clothing should not be a source of anxiety. If this dress looks nice from the front but not from the side, if you can kind of see through it in the right light, if you can barely walk in those heels, if you have to keep tugging the dress up or down, if you’re not sure about this top with that skirt, if you’re not sure if this is too dressy or too casual or if you like it at all—don’t wear it. If you expect yourself to want to hide away for a portion of the night, save the brighter, flashier clothes for a different occasion. You’ll look and feel better in an old classic than in a new, risky dress that you’re not sure about.

4. Pockets!

I know when I’m at a party, I never know what to do with my hands. With pockets, you can hide your hands and remain looking casual and collected. Dresses with pockets are all the rage now, and it reduces the need for a handbag you might lose. Pockets are versatile, and allow you to be versatile as well. They can comfort you when you’re in the spotlight, and anchor you when you begin to feel worn out. Plus, they’re just so darn cute.

3. Statement earrings

Earrings are a great place to put the focal point of your outfit. They draw the eye up to your face but also allow you to look off to the side when people admire them. No awkward smile as they gush about your shirt—you can fiddle with your earrings or tilt your head to let them see better, remaining poised and confident. Also, you can rest assured that they’re complimenting your earrings and not making a comment about your body (“Nice skirt” can sometimes get uncomfortable). The best thing about statement earrings is that they’re like a superhero costume. You can wear them when you want to be in the spotlight, and then quickly and easily remove them when you want to blend into the crowd. Even easier, if you have long hair you can just let it fall over your ears when you’re getting tired of attention. Keeping the energy in an easily disposable accessory can help you feel comfortable and in control.

2. Layers

When I begin feeling weary of company, covering my body usually makes me feel better. It’s also a way to choose whether you want to be “on” or “off.” Cardigans, sweaters, and jackets don’t make your outfit worse, it just makes your body less visible, and that can help you feel more confident. The most important thing to remember is that fashion isn’t about what others think, but it’s about how you feel, and the jacket lets you project how you feel while your feelings change over time. Feel open and happy and free? No jacket tells that to people. Want to get out of the spotlight? Jacket on tells that to people. The jacket gives you a choice, which keeps you in control of your night.

1. Scarves

Well, I’m biased. I love scarves, and wearing them makes me feel both stylish and comfortable. Wearing a scarf is sort of like having a security blanket for me. I like it because it acts like a layer while keeping things light and easy, and I can also fiddle with it, giving my hands something to do, but mostly I like wearing scarves because it’s just something that I’m used to. That’s the true #1. If you usually keep your hair up, then wear your hair up. If you usually wear a watch, wear a watch. Keep a little security blanket on you, to keep you calm when things get stressful. A little normalcy to a unique outfit can keep your personality front and center, no matter what you’re wearing.

Top 5 types of people an introvert would find easy to date

Dating is hard, even for people who actually like small talk. It can be awkward, embarrassing, and plain difficult to ask someone on a date, never mind actually going out with them. To help out with this process, I’ve compiled my top five types of people that are (generally) easy to date for introverts. And don’t worry; I talk about the risks as well. So no matter your preference, I hope this helps you find the person of your dreams! Best of luck!

5. The talkative one.

They might give you a headache by the end of the night, but the positive of the talkative date is that you won’t have to worry about filling any awkward silences. They’ll take care of that. They also won’t mind if you don’t have a story to contribute—they’ll just tell another one. You are able to relax and pitch in when you like, all while learning more about them. Be wary, though. Talkative people tend to be extroverts, and that might not mix well with you. Give them a chance, though. If nothing else, you’ll have a low-stress dinner.

4. The film buff.

Going to the movies was always my favorite date idea. You are expected to stay quiet for two hours, how easy is that? Afterward, you’ll have plenty to talk about and it still feels like you spent a lot of quality time together, even if most of it was focused on a screen. A film buff will love taking you to movies, and will chat with you about the film after. They’ll probably let you get more words in than the talkative one, but that’s okay. You’ll know what to say. The warning with the film buff is that if you end up dating long term you’ll see a lot of movies, many of which will be black and white and/or depressing and/or in a foreign language and/or you have to see it twice to “really get it.” If that makes you cringe, maybe pass on this one. If you’re super down for that, definitely give the film buff a go.

3. The food critic.

Oh, if you love food, this could be the perfect date for you. Imagine, a meal in a lovely restaurant with fine wine and finer entrees. Even if you end up not liking the person, the date will be a raging success for your taste buds. Luckily, you probably will like the date! Food critics are often rather romantic, well spoken, and appreciative of the finer things. Usually, they also like cooking, and will gladly stay in to cook you their newest creation. Plus, you’ll never run out of things to talk about once the food arrives. You can talk about meals you ate abroad, the best restaurant in your home town, cooking adventures, or even just ask them questions about how they see food. Warning: make sure they have more to their personality than “critiquing,” or they may end up critiquing you. If they have nothing positive to say about a dinner, be wary. They might simply be a negative person, and that’s no fun.

2. The introvert.

Dating an introvert is plain awesome…not to brag, or anything. Imagine a relationship where you’re never forced to do what you don’t want to do. Many a date night will consist of ordering pizza and eating it in sweatpants. Campfires and s’mores replace parties you don’t want to go to. They understand your need for alone time, and aren’t offended when you ask for it—after all, they’ll need some too. It’s a match made in heaven, full of books, cuddling, and probably a cat or houseplant. There are some risks to an introvert + introvert relationship though: the biggest is falling into a routine. I know many of my favorite memories wouldn’t have happened without light persuading from an extrovert. An introverted significant other may not challenge you to do scary things, and sometimes scary things are good for us. It’s nice to stay in, but it’s also nice to go out every once in awhile.

1. The friend.

The scariest part of dating for introverts is the social awkwardness of meeting new people. So, why not skip that part altogether? Dating someone who was your friend first is always risky, but can pay off big time. You already know a lot about each other, and know you have fun together. They already know your introverted tendencies, and are possibly an introvert themselves. You don’t have to endure much awkwardness or wonder what to talk about. The first date will be just like how you normally hang out, except maybe with a kiss at the end! What could be easier than that? Sure, sometimes it’s not so simple. Rejection is scary, and if they say no it could make things awkward between you. But communication and openness can result in a fantastic relationship with someone you already enjoy being around, which is exactly why the friend is the easiest person for an introvert to date.

Top 5 ways of dealing with anxiety

 

As a person who deals with anxiety on a pretty regular basis, I know how hard it can be to deal with it. When there’s no bathroom stall to hide in, or blankets to cover your face with, you can feel trapped, panicky, and like you’re losing control.

I’ve collected here a list of my top 5 helpful things when you feel anxious, whether you suffer from deep anxiety or are merely a little unsettled. I hope it can help!:

5. Becoming mindful of my body and my environment. This is the newest one I’ve found; it’s a type of meditation you can do at any time, no matter where you are. Allow yourself to feel the chair you’re sitting in, to hear every sound in the office, to smell the world around you. Do a mental scan of your body, take note of every ache, itch, and sensation. Becoming aware of how you fit in the world helps you feel more connected to it. This site is great for guided meditations like this: http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

4. A calmer task. When I have homework piling, I often like to take a break to freshen up my makeup. Obviously this doesn’t apply to everyone, but doing my makeup is a calming task that allows me to let my mind take a break. It’s also a great way to get my eyes off a computer screen and let my hands do some work. Doing a task that is still productive (ie, not watching television. Something like knitting or playing a sport) for a few minutes but isn’t the stressor can help you reset. These two websites are less productive than knitting or so, but are still calming and may help if you just need to turn your brain off for awhile: Silk: http://weavesilk.com/

Line 3D: http://www.barcinski-jeanjean.com/entries/line3d/

3. Talking it through. Whether a long rant to my mom over the phone or a brief pep talk to my mirror, talking out loud can help relieve the stress. Someone who will listen without telling you you’re being unreasonable or too worrisome would be best. Even just listing to yourself what is stressful can help you put your thoughts in order. If you have no one to talk to, try this site: http://www.7cups.com/talk-to-someone-about-anxiety/

If you really need someone professional to talk to, try this:  https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

2. Staying organized. When tasks keep getting put on my desk one after another, it makes me want to crawl under said desk and hide for days. Having a to do list helps a million—I like to put a star next to the items I have to get done today, and then number them in order of importance. It helps me realize how much I really have to do, and how much can wait until later. I use an app for this: Productive. It allows you to check off events throughout the day, even things you might not think of, like eating fruit or checking your posture.

1. Deep breathing and meditation. The best part about deep breathing is that you can do it all the time, without anyone noticing. Stressed during a meeting? Stressed in the subway? Deep breathing is your friend. If you have a bit of time, meditation is like deep breathing to the max, helping to relax you from the inside out. I have this amazing, free app on my phone called Pacifica that uses guided meditation and pleasant sound-scapes to help you relax. There is also a deep breathing activity that simply helps your breathing stay constant. You can plug it into your headphones wherever you are to help you calm down.

Of course, sometimes none of these work, and anxiety takes over. Whatever you do when anxious, even if nothing helps, know that you are not alone. There are millions of people dealing with anxiety all over the world. If you have extended period of anxiety or feel anxious often, and want to learn more, go to http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml