Top 5 fashion tips for the female introvert

Hello, beautiful ladies! I’m a strong proponent of the idea that just because someone is introverted doesn’t mean they don’t like people. It just means that they enjoy and require some time alone, and being surrounded by people for too long can be tiring.

Our personal style tells the world what kind of person we are. For an introvert who wants to feel good about how she looks but also might want to fade into the background to recharge after awhile, the best outfit is one that is stylish, but not too loud or bright. Something flexible, that allows you to both stand out and hide away when you want to.

These are my top five fashion choices for the female introvert! And don’t worry, boys, I have a post for male fashion choices too—click here!

For anyone who doesn’t identify as either gender, don’t fret! The tips are pretty gender neutral. Read both and apply them as you see fit, picking some from each and creating a fashion collage just for you:).

5. Anything that gives you confidence

This may be rather vague, but it’s one of the best tips I can give. While you want your clothing to look nice, you do not want to have to think about it all night. Your clothing should not be a source of anxiety. If this dress looks nice from the front but not from the side, if you can kind of see through it in the right light, if you can barely walk in those heels, if you have to keep tugging the dress up or down, if you’re not sure about this top with that skirt, if you’re not sure if this is too dressy or too casual or if you like it at all—don’t wear it. If you expect yourself to want to hide away for a portion of the night, save the brighter, flashier clothes for a different occasion. You’ll look and feel better in an old classic than in a new, risky dress that you’re not sure about.

4. Pockets!

I know when I’m at a party, I never know what to do with my hands. With pockets, you can hide your hands and remain looking casual and collected. Dresses with pockets are all the rage now, and it reduces the need for a handbag you might lose. Pockets are versatile, and allow you to be versatile as well. They can comfort you when you’re in the spotlight, and anchor you when you begin to feel worn out. Plus, they’re just so darn cute.

3. Statement earrings

Earrings are a great place to put the focal point of your outfit. They draw the eye up to your face but also allow you to look off to the side when people admire them. No awkward smile as they gush about your shirt—you can fiddle with your earrings or tilt your head to let them see better, remaining poised and confident. Also, you can rest assured that they’re complimenting your earrings and not making a comment about your body (“Nice skirt” can sometimes get uncomfortable). The best thing about statement earrings is that they’re like a superhero costume. You can wear them when you want to be in the spotlight, and then quickly and easily remove them when you want to blend into the crowd. Even easier, if you have long hair you can just let it fall over your ears when you’re getting tired of attention. Keeping the energy in an easily disposable accessory can help you feel comfortable and in control.

2. Layers

When I begin feeling weary of company, covering my body usually makes me feel better. It’s also a way to choose whether you want to be “on” or “off.” Cardigans, sweaters, and jackets don’t make your outfit worse, it just makes your body less visible, and that can help you feel more confident. The most important thing to remember is that fashion isn’t about what others think, but it’s about how you feel, and the jacket lets you project how you feel while your feelings change over time. Feel open and happy and free? No jacket tells that to people. Want to get out of the spotlight? Jacket on tells that to people. The jacket gives you a choice, which keeps you in control of your night.

1. Scarves

Well, I’m biased. I love scarves, and wearing them makes me feel both stylish and comfortable. Wearing a scarf is sort of like having a security blanket for me. I like it because it acts like a layer while keeping things light and easy, and I can also fiddle with it, giving my hands something to do, but mostly I like wearing scarves because it’s just something that I’m used to. That’s the true #1. If you usually keep your hair up, then wear your hair up. If you usually wear a watch, wear a watch. Keep a little security blanket on you, to keep you calm when things get stressful. A little normalcy to a unique outfit can keep your personality front and center, no matter what you’re wearing.

Top 5 types of people an introvert would find easy to date

Dating is hard, even for people who actually like small talk. It can be awkward, embarrassing, and plain difficult to ask someone on a date, never mind actually going out with them. To help out with this process, I’ve compiled my top five types of people that are (generally) easy to date for introverts. And don’t worry; I talk about the risks as well. So no matter your preference, I hope this helps you find the person of your dreams! Best of luck!

5. The talkative one.

They might give you a headache by the end of the night, but the positive of the talkative date is that you won’t have to worry about filling any awkward silences. They’ll take care of that. They also won’t mind if you don’t have a story to contribute—they’ll just tell another one. You are able to relax and pitch in when you like, all while learning more about them. Be wary, though. Talkative people tend to be extroverts, and that might not mix well with you. Give them a chance, though. If nothing else, you’ll have a low-stress dinner.

4. The film buff.

Going to the movies was always my favorite date idea. You are expected to stay quiet for two hours, how easy is that? Afterward, you’ll have plenty to talk about and it still feels like you spent a lot of quality time together, even if most of it was focused on a screen. A film buff will love taking you to movies, and will chat with you about the film after. They’ll probably let you get more words in than the talkative one, but that’s okay. You’ll know what to say. The warning with the film buff is that if you end up dating long term you’ll see a lot of movies, many of which will be black and white and/or depressing and/or in a foreign language and/or you have to see it twice to “really get it.” If that makes you cringe, maybe pass on this one. If you’re super down for that, definitely give the film buff a go.

3. The food critic.

Oh, if you love food, this could be the perfect date for you. Imagine, a meal in a lovely restaurant with fine wine and finer entrees. Even if you end up not liking the person, the date will be a raging success for your taste buds. Luckily, you probably will like the date! Food critics are often rather romantic, well spoken, and appreciative of the finer things. Usually, they also like cooking, and will gladly stay in to cook you their newest creation. Plus, you’ll never run out of things to talk about once the food arrives. You can talk about meals you ate abroad, the best restaurant in your home town, cooking adventures, or even just ask them questions about how they see food. Warning: make sure they have more to their personality than “critiquing,” or they may end up critiquing you. If they have nothing positive to say about a dinner, be wary. They might simply be a negative person, and that’s no fun.

2. The introvert.

Dating an introvert is plain awesome…not to brag, or anything. Imagine a relationship where you’re never forced to do what you don’t want to do. Many a date night will consist of ordering pizza and eating it in sweatpants. Campfires and s’mores replace parties you don’t want to go to. They understand your need for alone time, and aren’t offended when you ask for it—after all, they’ll need some too. It’s a match made in heaven, full of books, cuddling, and probably a cat or houseplant. There are some risks to an introvert + introvert relationship though: the biggest is falling into a routine. I know many of my favorite memories wouldn’t have happened without light persuading from an extrovert. An introverted significant other may not challenge you to do scary things, and sometimes scary things are good for us. It’s nice to stay in, but it’s also nice to go out every once in awhile.

1. The friend.

The scariest part of dating for introverts is the social awkwardness of meeting new people. So, why not skip that part altogether? Dating someone who was your friend first is always risky, but can pay off big time. You already know a lot about each other, and know you have fun together. They already know your introverted tendencies, and are possibly an introvert themselves. You don’t have to endure much awkwardness or wonder what to talk about. The first date will be just like how you normally hang out, except maybe with a kiss at the end! What could be easier than that? Sure, sometimes it’s not so simple. Rejection is scary, and if they say no it could make things awkward between you. But communication and openness can result in a fantastic relationship with someone you already enjoy being around, which is exactly why the friend is the easiest person for an introvert to date.

Top 5 places for a restless introvert to go alone

Just because we’re introverted doesn’t mean we don’t like doing things! Here is my list of the best fun things to do when you want to get out of the house but don’t necessarily want to talk to anyone.

  1. Shopping. For the ambitious introvert, shopping can be a lot of fun alone. I do my best shopping when I don’t have to worry about other people judging my purchases. Plus, you get to spend as much or as little time as you wish in each store. Shopping is low on the list because it often involves a stressful environment with a lot of people, and there’s a high chance of running into someone you know. However, more often than not it’s a fun break to do on your own.
  2. Nature. Grab your favorite copy of Walden and spend the day outdoors. It’s easy to feel comfortable in your favorite outdoors spot, whether that’s deep in the woods or your own backyard. Bring a snack, take your bike out. Your heart and your soul will thank you for it! Just remember to stay safe when alone in the wilderness; don’t try rock climbing by yourself, for example, and don’t get lost.
  3. The Movies. I know, it seems lame to go to the movies yourself…but think about it. What is social about going to the movies? If you’re going to sit in silence for two hours, might as well take away the social stress of being around people—and yes, there will be others in the theatre, but they’ll be quiet and ignorable. Plus, you get that whole popcorn to yourself.
  4. The Gym. Though not my personal preference, the gym can be a great way to get yourself active without being bothered. Plug in some headphones and enjoy some music all while getting that blood flowing. Many gyms also offer calm classes that involve little interaction, like yoga. The best part about the gym is that if you run into someone you know, there’s no obligation to talk to them. A quick smile and wave and you’re back in the zone.
  5. The Library. Many of you may be saying, duh. The library is practically introversion incarnate. Well, yes, it’s great to curl up in the comfy sofa and read a rented book, but libraries are so much more than that! They offer art and cooking classes, book clubs and author readings. They give discounted passes to local museums, they host farmers markets on the front lawn, they have cafes with rich coffee and scones. What’s not to love about a library? Whether you go with a book and a chair in mind or you go looking for inspiration for another activity, the library is the top hub for people who want to do things but would prefer to go alone. And the best part? Quiet is mandatory.