Wednesdays

I don’t mind Wednesdays. They’re right in the middle of things, and once you do it you only have two days left, right?

I’ve been trying to change this mentality. I don’t want to live for the weekend, especially since I spend most weekends working on school work anyway. It’s a cultural thing, I think–ever since grade school people have been looking forward to Friday, and we loved school back then. Well, at least I did.

It’s not a good feeling to have 5/7 of your days be days you don’t want to live.

I’ve been doing better with depression and anxiety, but I’ve had a bit of a setback recently. Maybe it’s a spring thing; some people clean ther attic, I fall into depression. 

I don’t know why it’s come back, and maybe there’s no reason. Sometimes it’s for no reason. I can’t help but think of reasons, though. I’m over stressed, as if that’s something new. I’m worried about my birthday, and the party that will have both sides of my newly divorced family in the same house for the first time in…years, wow, it’s been nearly two years. I’m worried about finding a job for the summer, one that pays but still lets me relax a bit more than I am now. 

The worst thing about returning depression is that just the fact that it’s returning is another reason to get depressed.

So, in spirits of fighting away the oncoming doom, I will love Wednesday like it’s Saturday. I’ll take the day’s hardships in stride. Today shall be a day I want to experience, and I’ll stay mindful and present and as happy as I can be.

Worst comes to worst, there’s only two days left.

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Wednesday

Wednesdays tend to be big procrastination days for me, mostly because it’s right in the thick of everything. Nothing is ever due on a Wednesday; I always have at least Thursday to get things done for work, and oftentimes the whole weekend to get things done for class.

I’ve always aspired to get things done early, and as I’ve gotten on in college I’ve gotten better at time management. But for a long time in high school I was the one staying up until 2 a.m. on a Sunday, writing a paper due in six hours.

I work best under a little pressure, and when something isn’t due for another few days I can’t help but push it off a bit—especially if I’ve already done something productive that day. Eh, I could be super on top of things, or I could do that tomorrow. Tomorrow’s good.

It also depends on how I’m feeling about things. If I’m in a good mood I tend to do better work, but because Wednesday is Wednesday and not Friday I’m rarely in a great mood. I’m just in a Wednesday sort of mood: mild and lazy.

As an introvert I usually have a few moments during every event when I wish it were over, if only so I could have a few minutes to myself, and work is no exception. Parties, school, work…it’s all socially and mentally and physically draining, no matter how fun it is.

Noel Coward once said, “Work is more fun than fun.” I totally buy it. I hate boring summer days spent wandering listlessly from television to video games to eating too much junk food. While it’s what I look forward to now and then, too much of it is, well, too much. Likewise, while I love travelling, the plane home is always a touch more sweet than it is bitter. Perhaps that’s due to my introversion, or my attempt to look at things positively, but also perhaps it’s due to a drive to return to work. We like to feel productive. We don’t like to feel like wasteful lumps.

Work is fun, fulfilling, and makes us feel full, but it’s only natural to want to procrastinate it. Especially on a Wednesday.