Acceptance

You have me in denial

Daily begging for you back.

I’m angry that you never showed

A warning of attack.

It’s depressing that I’ll never know

What you would’ve become.

I’m waiting for acceptance

That I doubt will ever come.

 

What words that could have calmed you?

Where were you all last week?

Am I hopeless as I’m feeling?

Did you ever think to speak?

It’s depressing that you fought with darkness

While flashing me a smile.

I’m waiting for acceptance

But it’s taking quite awhile.

 

Perhaps I’m being selfish

Or perhaps I’m being vain.

But I can’t help but feel guilty

That I never saw your pain.

It’s depressing that you sat beside me

Just that afternoon.

I’m waiting for acceptance

That I hope is coming soon.

 

I know these words are futile

As they’re words you’ll never read.

But writing out my feelings

Seems to be just what I need.

Thank you for the time we had.

You’re one I won’t forget.

I’m sad but I’m surviving—

Though I can’t accept it yet.

Happy toes

For my grandmother, whose birthday is soon:

 

A hole a sock a thread a pin

A stuffed tomato to stick it in

A thimble a button a needle a knot

Using her teeth to pull it taut.

Blue and black, white and gray

A tube of glue for a rainy day

A nimble thumb, the smell of rose

A mended sock for happy toes

 

A lemon cookie, a mug of tea

A grandmother’s hug, just for me.

Strong

What if my hands

Are too weak to hold your purse?

What if my stomach

Is too weak to be your nurse?

What if my arms

Are too weak to hold you awhile?

What if my words

Are too weak to make you smile?

What if my jokes

Are too weak to make you laugh?

What if my kisses

Are too weak to make you gasp?

Will you accept me if I’m weak

In all I wrote above

If I can prove that what is strong

About me is my love?

Wallpaper

She sits backstage, she cares

She watches him, she wears

Camouflage costume

Her hair, it likes to fall

Paper curling off the wall

In aging bedrooms

The months go by, she never sees the sun

He cooks a feast of time for everyone.

 

She sleeps into the winter

Her teeth are tasting bitter

Stained with wine

Made of glass and ether

Pull the rug out from beneath her

I am fine

The days go by, she acts despite her fears

He lets her go, she never disappears.

//

Full flavored faces are gone.

Wrong.//Shark attacks lasting a week

Long//Children are growing up tall,

Strong//Lullabies turned to a work

Song//Grass stains on knees ice cream in

Hand//Careers fighting fire are half

Planned// Strapped to a chair once you can

Stand//Plucked from clouds sewn to the

Land//

Where it rains

Where stupidity reigns, the closed mind domain,

Mem’ry retains only diamonds and pain

That are gained by the people preferred as bloodstains,

Who scream and make mountains of mole-hurricanes.

Ankle sprains, labor pains, they are one in the same

Blood runs red in all veins but some spill, some contain.

“If our rattling chains cause your painful migraines,

Equality! A solution that should be entertained.”

Roam

When all I can say is repeat what’s been said

It’s hard to believe that the words in my head

Are anything worthy to write or be read

Perhaps I should focus on running, instead.

For who reads newspapers half a day old?

The company’s heart’s barely beating, I’m told

Surely my paper and life’s work will fold.

What could be better than hitting the road?

Making the stories I’d once been reporting

The future, the past, and the present distorting

What would mom say if she saw me resorting

To running and laughing and shameless cavorting?

As it turns five and of course I head home

The sky is an ominous gray monochrome.

I wonder which parent gave the chromosome

That gives me the hesitant instinct to roam.